#I type all of this to make fun of myself but I still genuinely believe this shit I'm typing

[seafoam-taide]

Guys will literally do anything other than admit that they. Yeah

[rosicheeks]

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

[bubblegumgothglados]

How to actually train a submissive, a how to guide

+Thoughts on the pervasive misinformation surrounding punishments and their usefulness.

Step 1. Make sure your submissive actually want to be trained. I'm into dom breaking, I'm into kidnapping, I'm into all types of situations where you forcibly change a person into the perfect submissive. But that's all fantasy, and they're fun fantasies to play out with willing participants. (Yeah i know this is pretty obvious stuff, everyone should know this already, but it is an important first step and it cant hurt to repeat)

Step 2. Pick a goal. The perfect example is getting them to take their pills at the same time each day. Its something they already want to do, its something that will benefit them greatly, its something that's very obviously pass/ fail, and its simple. Those are the criteria for a good behaviour to modify (with "want to do" flipped to "don't want to do" if its a behaviour you're trying to stop). The fewer of those things are true the more difficult its going to be to get the desired result, not impossible mind you but more difficult. As you and your submissive gain experience and become more comfortable with this process you can begin to modify more complex behaviours, but keep it simple to start.

Step 3. DO reward success, DO NOT punish failure. I'm gonna let myself rant about this at the end of this guide but for the moment just believe me when i say punishments are not a useful tool in training. So reward them every time the succeed. The best rewards are small things that stimulate the pleasure centre of their brain. Praise is a great place to start, stickers, snacks, tiny animal erasers, maybe shiny treasures if they have corvid like proclivities. Whatever it is make sure you give it to them personally, make sure you show you're genuinely happy with them, and make sure its something they cant get or aren't allowed to have otherwise. If the do fail (and they will sometimes) don't reward them, don't punish them, and don't let them punish themself. They want to be good for you, they will take failure hard. You need to make sure they know failure isn't a bad thing, everyone fails sometimes especially when starting to learn something. You need to reassure them that you're not angry or sad or upset and especially not disappointed.

Step 4. Be consistent. Reward them every time until they have a perfect record for a significant period of time. The specifics of this depend too much on the specifics of the behaviour and the reward so i wont try to give guidelines. Once they have that perfect track record start reducing the frequency of the rewards, stress to them that this isn't a punishment this is a really good thing. It means the training is working and they should be proud of themself and you are proud of them. Once you've weaned them off of the reward all together give them a big reward as a congratulations. And then sporadically reward them as a reminder that you're proud of them and to keep the habit strong. If the behaviour begins to drift you might need to go back and start rewarding them again, this shouldn't be seen as failure, its a normal part of training.

Step 5. Start again. Do they still want to be trained or are they happy with where they are? Is there another behaviour you want to modify? Is it time to try a more difficult modification? Do you need to switch up the reward to keep them motivated? Do you have the bandwidth to be consistent?

A note on brats. Specifically type 3 brats as described in THIS post. None of my advice changes. They still want to be good for you they just also want to play a fun game with you. Enjoy the fun game and train them to improve their lives. Just, don't try to train them out of being a brat, they're enjoying their game don't take away something that they enjoy, if you don't want a brat don't get with a brat.

Finally here is the as promised rant about punishment.

To the submissive reading this. You don't deserve to be punished, you never deserved to be punished. Even if you were a "problem" child you didn't deserve to be hurt for it. You still don't deserve to be hurt in ways you don't want to be. To the dominant reading this, yes you can rule through fear it is possible, but gods why?! If your ultimate goal isn't for your sub to be as happy and self fulfilled as possible, whatever that looks like for them, then what the fuck are you doing. And aside from that punishment isn't even an effective method of training. A dog kicked whenever it barks will learn to fear you and wont bark around you. A child spanked whenever you feel they've done something wrong will learn to resent you and will hide everything from you. An adult punished for stealing will learn to steal more effectively. Your submissive is no different from any of those examples. Kill the cop in your head, stop thinking of punishment as a legitimate means of control.

[pink-and-pearls]

Thanos as a Boyfriend (Headcanons)

A/N: While watching the second season of Squid Game I was almost convinced that I would hate Thanos, that his spontaneous rap and flirtatious behaviour was just annoying. As you can see I quickly chewed up these words as he does not want to leave my mind. As an attempt to deal with this fixation I’m writing headcanons. For the sake of these headcanons I’m taking him out the Squid Game setting into a daily basis one. Thanos is a Scorpio and I’m a Scorpio myself who came across a lot of scorpios, to say the least, I believe I could have an idea of how he’d be like in a relationship. Please keep in mind that this is based solely on my imagination but I try to keep it as close to his character. Enjoy and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts!

He is the kind to have a passionate all-consuming love. He'll look at you like you're the most precious thing he's ever seen, and a relationship with him is going to be so intense it might actually scare you sometimes.

Thanos's impulsive nature shines through in his romantic gestures. He's the type to spontaneously purchase gifts that remind him of you. This also applies to his flirtatious behavior, surprising you with compliments even in the most mundane moments, like early mornings when you're still in your pajamas and unbrushed hair.

He'll surprise you with a late-night street food tour, showing you his favorite hidden spots, or create a playlist for you.

Beneath his serious exterior, Thanos has a playful side that comes out in his interactions with you. He loves to tease and joke around, using humor to lighten the mood and keep things fun. Whether it’s playful banter or light-hearted jokes, he knows how to make you laugh and create a joyful atmosphere in your relationship. This playful teasing helps balance out the intensity of his personality, making your time together enjoyable and full of laughter.

Don’t let his bad boy facade fool you, Thanos's background as a rapper shows his remarkable linguistic skills making him quick-witted and articulate. One of his love languages is words of affirmation, freely expressing his love, admiration, and gratitude for you. It’s no surprise that he uses pet names and is a straightforward flirt. This makes him a great source of support for partners who struggle to vocalize their emotions.

Thanos's protective instincts run deep and frankly he gives older brother energy. He's wants to know about your whereabouts and who you are with, making him overprotective. If anyone makes you uncomfortable, he's quick to intervene and he takes pride and satisfaction from making your safety and comfort.

Despite his own struggles, Thanos is a very supportive boyfriend. He vocally supports your dreams and offers tangible help when possible, finding joy and admiration in your passion and resilience. In return, he appreciates your support of his rap career and wants to make you proud.

Beneath Thanos's confident exterior lies an emotional vulnerability man. His substance use and confrontational behavior stem from unresolved pain and struggles. And he is not proud of it, while he may present an insolent facade to the world, it masks deep-seated insecurities and emotional turmoil. It’s very hard for him to open up, and it will take a lot of time for him to do so. Little by little he will open up, while he likes the care you provide, he doesn’t want you to think of him as weak.

This one might be hard to see, but Thanos is naive. Not in the sense he isn’t street smart, but more in a raw way. He has vices and can certainly manipulate when needed, but underneath that exterior, he's fundamentally vulnerable. His complicated relationship with his parents meant he grew up without proper guidance, essentially learning life's lessons through trial and error - and not always successfully. If you're perceptive and patient, you can help redirect him, he'll resist at first - he's stubborn to his core - but deep down, he genuinely appreciates someone taking the time to understand and guide him.

Physical intimacy is very important for Thanos. He thrives on hugs, kisses, and simple proximity, and he is a very passionate man. Despite claiming he is not a soft boy, he craves tender, tactile connection. Whether it's a soft kiss, an enveloping hug, or just sitting close enough to feel each other's warmth, these moments of physical intimacy are where Thanos feels most human.

[guess-my-next-obsession]

the alchemy | i. the return (joel’s pov)

pairing: no outbreak!dbf!joel miller x fem!reader

chapter rating: Mature [18+ only, minors dni, dbf/secret relationship, age gap (joel is 34, reader is 24), just joel pining in secret, mention of cheating (past relationship), one mention of joel fantasizing about a blowjob]

summary: joel takes us through his inner monologue the day of reader’s return.

wc: 1k

the masterlist

She was back.

The woman who’d starred in every depraved fantasy I’d had since the day I met her had made her return to Austin, this time to stay.

I’d been mentally preparing for our reunion for weeks now, ever since her father let the news slip. I told myself that this time I’d finally be done with my little crush on the woman nearly a decade younger than me, but I knew how this story went.

Every time she came home to visit during her breaks from school, I told myself the exact same bullshit. And every time I came face to face with her, it all went to hell again. All she had to do was walk into a room, and I was back to secretly pining over her like a lovesick boy.

This time was no different.

When her and her dad pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I was already sweating. When she stepped out in those denim cutoffs, I’d melted completely.

She was the type of beautiful that required no frills to make a man fall to his knees. She could wear a burlap sack and I’d have no choice but to believe she was nothing less than a goddess.

I tried not to let my tongue wag too much as she walked over to Sarah, hugging her tight and complimenting her on her new braids. Her dad offered me a bit of distraction as he complained about needing to change out the brake pads on his truck, but even that wasn’t enough to tear my eyes away from her. From the woman I knew he’d never approve of me being with.

I couldn’t say I’d do any different if it was my own daughter in question.

When her eyes met mine, I felt the need to justify my ogling with a greeting.

“Welcome home,” I said, instead of what I longed to say—things that would’ve earned me a punch in the gut from her dad.

She mumbled a thanks in response, but seemed entirely disinterested in any further conversation with me. So I let it end there as we walked into the mexican spot that was apparently her favorite, according to her dad. I made a mental note of this new information. For what reason, I had no clue. It wasn’t like I’d ever be taking her out.

She avoided me at all costs throughout dinner, leaving me with no choice but to coax her into paying me some attention by asking her if she was still interested in babysitting. It was a genuine enough question. Sarah did need someone to look after her over the summer, and the last babysitter just never managed to click with her the way that she had. But I’d be lying if I said that it was strictly business, my asking.

When she said yes, my heart all but leapt out of my chest with relief. If she had said no, I would’ve had no excuse to see her, no excuse to talk to her.

I watched with greedy eyes as she sipped her drink through a straw, her lips wrapping around the bit of plastic. I instinctively licked my lips as she pulled away, swiping her tongue over her lips to collect the bit of lime-flavored liquor that coated them.

God, that mouth.

I’d thought about it almost every night. Even when I was with Mia, my ex, it was her I imagined. Those plump lips wrapping around me, working me until I came. And as horrible as it was to say, I never felt guilty about the fantasy. Especially now, knowing that the entire time, Mia had been having her own fun on the side.

I couldn’t imagine that the girl in front of me would hurt anyone in that way, and that drew me towards her all the more. She was so kind, so good that it hurt. I hoped whoever she had been with in the past had treated her with the same sort of respect that I dreamed of giving her, but I knew all too well what it was like to be a twenty-something year old boy. They’d likely not even noticed the gem that they held in the palm of their hands.

At the end of dinner, she gave Sarah a thorough goodbye, promising to come over the next day for a swim. I thanked God that it was a weekend, that I’d be home to catch a glimpse of her.

When I stepped over to tell her goodnight, she blew me off completely. I tried not to let the rejection sting. I had no reason to feel slighted, to feel disappointed, but it cut through me nonetheless.

Her dad muttered an apology, saying that she was likely just tired from a long day of unpacking, and I let myself believe him. It was better than thinking that she wanted nothing to do with me.

Even if I knew it was true.

Why else would she have agreed to go out with Tommy last summer? And according to him, the date went well. He refrained from spilling all the details, but from what he let on, I could’ve only assumed it ended with her in his crumb-filled sheets. It took me weeks to get the image out of my head, to be able to look my brother in the eye again.

Maybe one of these days I’d ask her about it myself. I wouldn’t let on that I disapproved of the two of them being together, either. Instead, I’d play the role of a nosy older brother who simply just wanted to know whether his brother was treating her right, or if he was fucking things up like he so often liked to do when a good woman entered his life.

But truthfully, it didn’t matter what the two had going on. She could hate him or love him, I didn’t care.

My crush was here to stay.

Even if I had no chance in the world with her.

[islandnymphorthila]

It's genuinely so fucking sad that as a people in 2024 going into 2025, there are kpop fans that are still so delusional and controlling to the point where they hate on idols who in fact are still human for dating which is in fact a very human experience. As humans, we are allowed to experience love, and idols should be free to do that without hate. They aren't robots. They aren't responsible for your delusional behaviour. You most likely will never have that y/n moment or be able to be with them. Being delulu is all fun and games, I myself am delusional sometimes but it's always light hearted and fun because I live in reality where there are actual real world problems and problems and challenges that I have to face everyday. But if your delusions cause you to hate on someone who doesn't know you personally outside of knowing you are a fan, then I think you should consider serious therapy or like the youngins say touch some fucking grass. Get a job, get a hobby, and let people live. At the end of the day, an idols' job is to sing, dance, rap, perform, and give you good music. They don't owe you anything outside of that. People tend to forget that at the end of the day, K-pop is music and idols' job is to produce music. Anything outside of that in their personal life is not your business or your job to dictate. They are human, they live, breathe, sleep, eat, die just like all of us. Let them have their human experiences to love, build a home and life with someone, make dumb mistakes, learn from said dumb mistakes, get married, have children, hang out with friends, etc, all without fear of being stalked or harassed or called out for something average people do on a day to day basis. The immaturity of K-pop stans never fail to amuse and upset me. Those types of fans are the reason K-pop fans have a bad image, and people believe all of us to be immature, jobless, teenagers. I'm not ashamed to be a K-pop stan but gosh, there should be a contract or mental evaluation we have to sign before we become one to cleanse the general Fandom of the crazy

[stupidlittlespirit]

Please give us some Ford and medfetish head canons please 😭😭

I'm trying to keep my mind off of other stuff so I'm gonna get a little detailed under the hood to give myself a decent distraction..... If you know me irl and you see this then..... No you do not! Don't judge me, I am very normal and can be trusted at the doctor's office!

tw: medical fetish/experimentation fetish/anaesthesiology & drug administration/physical exams/dissection (potential gore?)/small and very vague mention of mild cnc under the influence of drugs

(this is all going to be post portal!Ford centric)

I think at a basic level, Ford would enjoy a good old fashioned doctor-patient roleplay.

He'd enjoy having his subject lie down on his examination table and go through the ins and outs of a standard health exam. He'd be kitted out, obviously: lab coat, mini torch, stethoscope, latex gloves, the whole shebang. I expect he might have a lot of biology-related equipment in the lab already from supernatural subject testing, but if he needed more specialist equipment he'd just order it ahead of schedule.

His subject would be nervous, of course; it's intimidating to be intimately exposed in a room where the only other person present is someone senior to you and is still fully dressed, but Ford would be quick to pick up on their little trembles and he'd reassure them that they'll be well taken care of.

I imagine he'd either film it or record the audio. Not sure why, just seems like it would be important to have for his 'records'.

Ford would start off with generalised stuff, including reflexes, before moving onto something more.... Erotic? Gag reflex, for example. He might use a notched, glass tongue depressor (these are pretty old school, they use wooden ones now I believe) to see how much the subject could take back into their throat, to test how deep they can swallow around the depressor. He'd use his torch to shine in to watch the subject's throat convulsions, too. I think he'd just appreciate watching the human body react.

Then, I think a breast exam would be fun for him. He'd measure and then go on to check the subject's nipple reflex etc, still monitoring and noting down the reaction to stimuli, both from his fingers and his mouth.

And of course, a gyno/penile inspection ("feet in the stirrups for me please, my dear...")

(This is going to focus on vaginal because anal is not for me, it is personally triggering for various reasons that I don't want to explain, but I understand that a Reader may prefer it or may not have a vagina, so try to just apply what I'm saying to anal instead of requesting I write it, just in case anyone planned to, thank you! :) )

Again, reflex and stimulation response, making sure everything is in working order. I imagine he'd expect to need to use lubricant of some kind but be pleasantly surprised that nothing is needed, so he'd move along onto penetrative response.

Fresh gloves applied and then we're onto digital penetration! Now, Ford Dr Pines would have some standards already set; One, two, three, four fingers? Easy peasy. He'd know that his subject could take that, that's amateur hour as far as he's concerned. What he'd be interested in is how much further could his subject stretch? Dr Pines has big hands, after all, with thick fingers, and with six of them he's going to be expecting to go big or go home. Pushing boundaries is his whole thing!

He'd ratchet the stirrups a little further apart and ease a fifth finger into his subject, moving them slowly and carefully until his subject is acclimatised to the width and taking them with ease. The entire time he'd be singing their body's praises, too. Not in a dominant way, but just in a genuine, loving 'I'm really into you, and biology in general' type of way.

He'd be sure to question his subject throughout the process, too. Just like a regular sexual health appointment he'd be requesting information on his subject's sex life and general health, most of them bordering on inappropriate in terms of details, but he'd assure them the inquiries were perfectly normal and to be expected.

Now, I'm not into fisting and so I'm not going to write that, but I think he'd be very pleased if he managed to get his entire hand inside his subject, just for a moment. There'd be something endlessly wonderful to him to see the one part of himself that is so personal to him meet with the most intimate part of his beloved subject.

I think he'd play with a little oral stimulation, too. I doubt I have to go into this too much, so I'll leave you with the concept of him applying varying pressures of mouth/suction stimulation and taking breaks to yap his observations to the camera/recorder, playing totally dumb to the way it's absolutely torturous for his subject to be wound up and denied release.

He'd pause if his subject was too wriggly, though, and probably put them in restraints. For their own safety and for his; this is delicate! He wouldn't want his subject to hurt themselves.

For penile inspection, it would be very similar. Sensation testing and sperm production would be test-worthy to him.

And then he'd go about doing a general check up, the normal sort of stuff that you'd expect etc etc, until he'd lead it into sex.

I actually think he'd prefer to jerk himself off while he performed each test, as opposed to going into full penetrative sex with his subject. Not to say he wouldn't like that, but I just find watching masturbation to be much hotter sjsdhdhsjsjd

Now. To the more intense stuff:

Gags are used sometimes in medfet. They tend to be close to/or are professional dental equipment, such as a Jennings gag or similar. Personally, however, I think Dr Pines would quite enjoy engineering some of his own creations....

I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with equine dental spectrums (not many, I'm sure) but they're weird devices that I've been kind of obsessed with since I got to use one on a horse years and years ago (a visiting equine dentist let me, a student at the time, help out with my own horse's check-up and it was very cool and interesting!). Now, these things are big, obviously, and clunky. Google McPherson speculum (sfw). The part that forces the mouth open can be cranked to a preferred width, and there are metal troughs that cup the horse's front teeth and prevent cutting the vet's arm.

So, let's say our lovely Dr Pines decided to engineer a smaller, customised McPherson speculum for his subject. He'd create one that wrapped around his subject's head and parted their mouth nice and wide for him. Maybe

He'd lower his exam bed until his subject was laying prostrate and inspect their throat and molar teeth. This would probably be a variation on the basic oral exam I talked about at the start, just with harsher equipment. Cue gag tests, possibly with a proper, more phallic shaped, glass instrument. Maybe even his own cock. Depends on his fancy.

Another area is needle play/play piercing. He might be interested in sensation play with them or just simply enjoy the aesthetic of them. We could get weird with it and include some suspension flesh hook stuff, but I think that kind of stuff would be more suited to research era!Ford, for obvious reasons..... It's quite extreme.

Anaesthesia play, for me, is also interesting. Now, in real life, you don't use actual drugs. You'd use hypnotic suggestion, poppers, OTC sleepy pills or breathplay etc. But with Dr Pines? Well, you'd be in safe enough hands to risk dabbling with some groovy substances.... He wouldn't want his subject out cold, however. Just on the cusp.

Ever had gas and air? Well, I have (in a medical context), and it's kind of very fun. It made me feel lightheaded and woozy, and really giggly. It's basically a whippit (no idea if this is much of a thing outside of the UK??) and although you really shouldn't use them in a recreational context, they're not going to kill you if you use them once or twice under the right supervision. (do not condone, do not do this! *wags finger*)

I think Dr Pines would enjoy plying his subject with some delicious nitrous oxide until they were well and truly under the influence, and then either engaging in sex/orgasm extraction whilst they were restrained on the examination table or.....

He'd move from there into cutting: So, cutting is what it sounds like. Typically, a person would make small, shallow incisions with a scalpel and do some blood play etc, then bandage or sew them up. But because this is la la land, Dr Pines is going to go further than that.

Dr Pines would prefer to administer gas to relax his subject, then numb an entire area (let's say his subject's forearm) and dissect it. He'd want to see the inner machinations of his subject's body, to see how they really ticked and also, there's something very romantic about knowing your lover literally inside out, imo.

Now I know irl a person would probably pass out if they saw their insides for real, but this is fiction and Dr Pines' subject is tough. They're going to be into it. Like, I N T O it.

And then he'd lovingly stich his subject back up and nurse them back to health through aftercare.

I know, I know, this is surgery-level shit. This is not practical. I do not care. I want him to open me up and rummage around in there. I think it'd be cool.

Scenarios to apply medfet to:

Doctor-patient

Dentist-patient

And my personal favourite is always going to be: mad scientist-test subject and unethical experiments, hence the use of 'subject' instead of patient throughout this whole answer lol. It suits him too well to ignore. I'm sure you agree.

I could also apply this with Ford as the test subject too. As I mentioned previously, I think a little fic where he's the one who is picked up by a curious alien scientist and tested on would be fun, too. It would give me room to play with him being submissive..... Food for thought.

We'll have a little doctor-patient play in the Spores sequel, though it won't be a proper kink set up, but I am probably going to write a full play scene inspired by this post. This was fun to think about and it's got me imagining more about this kind of stuff now.

I have no idea if this was what you meant when you sent this ask, so I'm sorry if this wasn't quite what you were looking for but I hope it's at least a bit fun! :) I had fun and I really needed this distraction. So thank you, anon.

[botanphal]

THE VIVIBELLA BIBLE IS HERE AND IT’S QUEER

ENJOY

PREFACE

so you’re probably wondering. What is this weird sapphic tirade of 3K words? Well, this “note bible” was originally something I was going to keep for myself but figured others may want to see it too. This document is similar to a character bible, hence the name, except it’s more of a deep dive into two particular characters, strung out like notes. Please keep in mind that this document does not go into every idea I’ve had about these two but is more or less the basic ideas for the sake of consistency. This goes over canon and non-canon information which are separated so you know what’s true vs my own interpretations, though depending on which version of this post you’re reading, you may notice that there’s only canon information—which is more or less to let you have your own ideas from their purely canon-selves without the inspiration of my own non-canon ideas—the cut version of this document is also considerably smaller (1.7K). If you’re not on the canon cut version, then obviously the previous statement can be ignored. Regardless, I hope you have fun reading!

BOTANPHAL/PALIN’S VIVIBELLA BIBLE

LINKS

Just some links to their actual profiles for ease of access, as well as quotes and their theme music

Goombella:

https://www.mariowiki.com/Goombella

https://www.mariowiki.com/List_of_Goombella_quotes

https://youtu.be/1EmkKFaT7V4?si=erWshNwVBU5sfbo_

Vivian:

https://www.mariowiki.com/Vivian

https://www.mariowiki.com/List_of_Paper_Mario:_The_Thousand-Year_Door_quotes_by_character_(S–Z)

https://youtu.be/6WubRL1mPlQ?si=cY_tWs5TwyKZsr39

ESTABLISHING THE IDIOTS

let’s get down the gist of these sillies!

Goombella:

A junior at the university of Goom majoring in Archeology and seems to also consider herself a historian

- sassy, genuinely seems like she’d bite people’s fingers off sometimes

- nerd (but would backfire if you called her that given the note above)

- confident (of course, there are moments where she loses this but most of the time she seems rather self-actualized about things)

- kind, but does tend to poke fun at others (I can’t believe she called Koops cringe)

- curious

- knowledgeable (though she does make her mistakes regarding things like being fooled by Doopliss)

- excitable (after reading her dialogue over and over she uses a LOT of exclamation points. Girl calm down)

- kind of a hot head at times and jealous type, especially with how Ms. Mowz goes after Mario (Goombella definitely had a crush on him as well) and snaps back a lot though this could just be related to her mentioned sass

- this isn’t so much a character trait but she says “totally” a lot as well as “oh my gosh” which this one may be a catchphrase

Non-canon interpretations:

- has ADHD, needs meds or she loses her mind and becomes scrambled (top of the line “gifted” kid)

- possibly has a fear of heights given her comments at Hooktail’s castle making her nervous

- most Goombas seem to have two prominent fangs so I assume she’s missing one

- half Australian and half Maltese (has slightly an Australian accent but mostly sounds American)

- intersex, given Goombas are based off of mushrooms (and also chestnuts but I digress) and mushrooms are intersex, took estrogen to appear more feminine and identifies as a woman (this still applies to her gijinka, just that her species of demi-human is also all intersex)

- futch (femme/butch, will wear either or-or dress equal)

- has a lot of (unsuccessful) relationship experience which adds to her anxiety about her feelings for Vivian, specifically having dated three other people

- Full name is (Goom)Bellami Alessia Bones (Goom is a family title and not actually required to say, though she prefers to be called Bella than Bellami)

- 21 years old (while she has no confirmed age her being in her early 20s makes the most sense given she’s a Junior at university)

- has an earthy/dirt yet flowery scent

- has a cut on her right eyebrow

- loves savory flavors but occasionally enjoys spicy and sweet (Goombas have a main diet of meat so she tends to eat a lot of that)

- executive dysfunction sometimes causes her to not clean herself, but if someone complains then she will (she tends to carry around a perfume bottle)

- pansexual (possibly a coping lesbian)

- (gijinka) is missing the majority of her right forearm though she has a prosthetic for it (was born like that) and is missing almost all of her left arm aside for the shoulder (incidental)

- swears fairly often

Vivian:

Youngest of the three shadow sirens/sisters with the ability to use fire magic

- shy/somewhat reserved (opens up more later on, still shy but less reserved)

- cutesy (how the fuck did she speak with a heart symbol in one of her quotes)

- graceful

- polite

- sweet/kind (there should be no mistake to how far Vivian’s forgiveness goes considering she’s willing to forgive her own family that abused her for years—Vivian disowning them is not something Vivian herself would do)

- empathetic/sympathetic (I think about her random glitz pit dialogue a lot and how she worries if her and Mario did a bit too much on the enemies. But also she sometimes says “NO MERCY” she’s so silly)

- curious (moreso about most things being new to her due to being sheltered by her sisters for so long)

- submissive, though gains some confidence later on (this is just my own take but I feel like it’d take her longer than it does in-game to be more confident given the severity and length of abuse she experienced)

- struggles with an inferiority complex (this is actually a canon thing and made mention of) at the hands of her sisters abuse

- says “gee whiz” a lot, might be a catchphrase

- tends to stutter when nervous (possibly easy to fluster, especially considering she likely has not received a lot of compliments in her life)

Non-canon interpretations:

- possibly has athazagoraphobia (the fear of being forgotten) or just has general struggles with the concept

- given her trauma (mental/emotional abuse, unsure if there’s ever been physical though in one of the translations of the game Beldam apparently starved her, neglect from Marilyn), she probably would struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD

- dysphoric, obviously feels better about herself the further into her transitioning (something about Vivian makes me feel like she’d struggle with dysphoria—it’s already a lesser discussed topic among fictional transwomen and given Vivian’s upbringing I think it’d make sense that she particularly has this and would make mention of it)

- she’s autistic and I can’t exactly explain why but someday I will (this very well could be projection uhhh. Anyway she probably doesn’t even know she has it or what it is, has had struggles to learn magic as the ways her sisters were trying to teach her weren’t working for her)

- demisexual-biromantic (I feel like it just makes sense for her to be this way given how she warms up to Mario and the same would apply to Goombella)

- has a beautiful singing voice partially learned from vocal training herself, however she is also called a shadow siren

- a piece of the Shadow Queen, her future

- has no exact ethnicity hc aside for being black as a gijinka, she’s something else entirely and can speak all languages (including sign language and braille) but mainly speaks English and Latin (if she were to be an actual human she’d be Eritrean and Sammarinese)

- femme (specifically loves to wear flowy things like dresses and skirts, the most “masculine” thing she’d wear is a suit)

- Has no full name, simply known as Vivian (if her and Goombella were to marry then she’d be Vivian Bones :flushed:)

- 20 years old

- has a smoldering lavender scent

- (gijinka) actually lost one of her legs while learning to veil, simply conjured up a convincing new one that she can freely remove

- can swear, refuses to do so (she’s too nice and polite the silly thing)

- is a pure-magical being so she requires frequent mana consumption to live, fire flowers are her favorite thing to use for this

- unaffected by fire and heat, can touch it without pain, body temperature is always high, only sweats when she’s sick, it’s very unusual for her to feel cold

- loves sweet, spicy and hot flavored things

- very clean, loves to shower or bathe (sometimes very atmospheric about it with hot water and candles)

- I like to think that she becomes a bookworm and wants to learn more about magic, but also reads up on psychology after the things she’s been put through

- shadow’s eyes are extremely sensitive to light, their hats have magical properties that keep them safe and shadow over them, without it she can only open her eyes in complete pitch-darkness, otherwise she keeps them closed (their gloves also work as buffers for their magic to make spells less intense, they’re sorta limiters in a way, Vivian especially has to wear them due to having fire powers and well… fire is commonly seen as destruction more than life)

- left handed, can use right okay

- knows how to cauterize wounds using her magic

- during new moons her appearance changes to more resemble the Shadow Queen, gaining more shades of purple and little stars speckling all over her, as well as having her eyes always shown

HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET HERE?

vivibella stems from Goombella’s tattle dialogue during the first battle with the three shadow sirens as shown:

note that this dialogue varies from the original GameCube version of the game compared to the Switch remake above:

unfortunate how the dialogue was nerfed compared to the original, making her seem jealous rather than having some kind of sapphic awakening but now I think of it as she’s deflecting what she’s feeling

DYNAMICS

- has a sort of opposites attract kinda thing going on, Goombella being the more open and expressive one while Vivian is the shy and reserved one

- enemies to friends to lovers

- love triangle (for the fact they both had a crush on Mario at one point but Goombella never seemed to be bothered by Vivian’s feelings for him unlike how she’s felt about the other women pining after him, she probably respects Vivian’s feelings for him given what he meant to her)

- the studier (Goombella) and one to be studied (Vivian) idk if there’s an actual name for this dynamic but I went into this concept a bit in this tweet:

- yapper x listener (I don’t think I have to explain who is who)

THAT ITALIAN GUY

Before we get into the meat of vivibella, it must be understood what Mario meant to these two. As it goes in TTYD, Mario for some reason is just a MAGNET for ladies and Goombella and Vivian are no exception to this, most of the female characters seem to express having a crush on him but let’s take a look at them individually:

Goombella particularly seems to fall under having a crush on him but she’s rather dismissive of it/acts like she doesn’t in a teasing way. She expresses jealousy whenever other female characters pursue him (think of Flurrie and Ms. Mowz, even speculates on Lady Bow post-game) but doesn’t with Vivian, likely due to the fact that Vivian doesn’t express her feelings for him around anyone (aside for the finale) considering during Chapter 4 it’s only her and Mario together when she kisses him—we don’t exactly know how Goombella would feel about Vivian’s feelings for Mario, but I think she’d probably be the most respectful to her given the things she’s been through and how Mario helped her open up and improve. During her letter to Mario at the end of the game, she talks about a “secret” which I imagine has to do with her crush on him, but she doesn’t follow through with it likely due to Mario’s pursuit of Peach

Vivian and Mario have a much deeper relationship compared to all the female characters that fall for him. Vivian definitely has a crush on him but also seems to actually be in love with him given the events that transpire; Mario helping her through her trauma and accepting her without question and also being a lending hand to someone in need despite his own troubles at the time of having lost his name, body and trusted companions. Even after realizing who he is and leaving given that he was her enemy at a certain point, she comes back upon realizing what he showed her and valued that over everything else as being the first person to EVER be kind to her. She turned her back on her family for him. During the final battle Vivian attempts to confess to him as well as during the end of the game when he’s leaving, but hesitates again due to the fact that she knows that he’d choose Peach and even thinks that the two would make a great couple. I’m sure it would be hard for Vivian to move on from him, he’s probably the first person she’s ever loved in such a way and again, he’s the first person to show her real kindness

THINKING TOO HARD

Goombella is obviously the one to crush first given her tattle dialogue, she may be kinda sassy about her feelings for her when teased by others but when she’s actually around Vivian she’s more reserved and anxious due to her shy and gentle nature, in some ways I feel like she may fear possibly scaring Vivian away by being too forward and is also afraid of the possible rejection as she’s aware of Vivian’s feelings for Mario despite him eventually not being in the picture (and of course possibly being unaware to the fact that Vivian is bi). Goombella’s probably very likely a girlfail and a fumbler when it comes to flirting but god if she isn’t confident about it and Vivian finds it endearing. I think it makes the most sense for her to confess later on as I’m sure she probably reaches some form of boiling point and just drops all her words out after being unable to hide it anymore (Vivian doesn’t like to assume things about others typically so that’s why I don’t see her confessing first instead)

Goombella falls first but I feel like Vivian would fall harder as the two of them grow closer, Vivian already experienced rejection from Mario so in some ways she probably wasn’t expecting to find successful love anytime soon nor in a more similar way to how Mario was with her. Of course, Goombella isn’t exactly like him at all but the kindness and patience is still there, albeit with some attitude which Vivian doesn’t mind. I think it would take a bit for Vivian to catch onto Goombella and her own feelings given her experience with Mario. This being her second experience with love, she’s definitely very inexperienced regarding all of it which is why she holds back. With my hc of Goombella having been through her own form of transition, a lot of comfort is to be found there for Vivian as they’re somewhat similar due to that. I don’t think Vivian really knows how to flirt but she’d give lots of compliments and do gestures, she’s also a girlfail but in a graceful way and tries not to show it, she’s kinda a secret dork (and I mean. With the fact she stutters when nervous. There isn't anyway this girl isn't also a girlfail of her own like come on now)

Regarding my own lore, I like to think that these two live together in Goombella’s Uni dorm after the events of TTYD. Vivian switches on Fridays to live with her sisters then back with Goombella the following Friday so on and so forth to help rebuild a healthy connection with them while with Goombella she explores herself given she’s been stuck with her sisters for so long. Their situation isn’t helped by the fact that they have to share a bed due to the limitations of Goombella’s Uni dorm size, though it is fancier as it’s more like an apartment with separate rooms, (basically consists of two small bedrooms, the other bedroom being her roommate’s, a living space and kitchen combo as well as a bathroom) still small though

Goombella tends to go to Flurrie for advice regarding her feelings for Vivian, while Vivian goes to Lady Bow after forming a friendship sometime after TTYD’s events. I also like to think that Flurrie and Lady Bow end up coming together to scheme about the two of them (neither are aware of this until they start dating)

Their relationship builds off of living together and Vivian learning about herself, Goombella there to guide her as someone who already knows her own life and the steps she took to get to where she’s at—the two spend a lot of time together obviously and Goombella strives to try and get something out of the two of them than just a friendship given her own growing feelings, even if it takes being more patient

Even on the weeks when Vivian’s living with her sisters Goombella tends to visit her and hang out, sometimes sleeping over as well. Vivian along the way starts to realize how Goombella’s care for her is much deeper than she originally thinks it is—in some ways Vivian already feels inspired by someone like her who is so confident and self assured, she could use someone like her to give her a nudge in the right direction

They probably even go out on adventures together which further strengthens their bond, which of course may stir up trouble and that leaves room for needing to rely on each other or help each other in such times of need (who doesn’t love some hurt and comfort mmmm)

CLOSING STATEMENT

Anyway, that’s really all I have though I have a feeling that even AFTER publishing this I’ll be still tweaking this until the day I die. I love these two very much if that uh….. Isn’t obvious at all. uh huh. I hope you gained some kind of enjoyment and understanding out of all this gay nonsense from these strange little sapphic creatures that have been rotting my brain for months :3

the canon version of this post will come out soon! This just took so long to do I’m going to explode rn

[mynicosensesaretingling]

One glance, A Second Chance

Nico Rosberg x fem! reader

Summary: Nico and (Y/N) unexpectedly cross paths at a charity event in Monaco. Old feelings resurface and they wonder if they might be able to give love a second chance.

Warnings: none

Note: Just a little thing that came to mind. I hope my fellow Nico enthusiasts enjoy this <3

————-

The Monaco Charity Gala was in full swing, the grand hall filled with the glittering elite of the racing world and beyond. Chandeliers cast a golden glow across the room, while the soft hum of conversation and clinking glasses blended with the sound of an orchestra playing softly in the background. Amidst the glitz and glamour, (Y/N) stood confidently, her black gown hugging her figure as she scanned the room with ease.

She was no stranger to events like these. Her success in the business world had made her a regular at high-profile galas, but tonight carried an extra layer of significance. It had been years since she’d been in the same room as Nico Rosberg. Their paths had diverged sharply after their brief, intense relationship years ago, back when his racing career was in full swing and her career was just taking off.

"Still can’t believe you got me to come here," (Y/N) murmured to her friend beside her, holding a champagne flute in hand. "I thought I was done with these types of events."

Her friend laughed lightheartedly. "Oh, come on. It's Monaco! And you look like you own the place."

With a small subtle smirk forming on her lips, (Y/N) clinked her glass with hers. "Fine, you win this one."

As they chatted, (Y/N)'s gaze drifted across the room—until her eyes came to an abrupt stop. There he was. Nico Rosberg. He hadn’t changed much since she’d last seen him: still the same confident, relaxed demeanour, his blonde hair swept back, and those striking blue eyes that had always drawn attention, were still holding the same sparkle that she remembered so fondly. He was deep in conversation with someone, but almost as if sensing her gaze, his eyes found hers across the room.

For a moment, time seemed to freeze. Nico’s expression shifted, surprise flickering across his face, quickly replaced by something more unreadable. His lips curved into a small smile as he excused himself from his conversation and made his way toward her.

(Y/N) took a steadying breath, not out of nerves, but to prepare herself for the inevitable conversation. She wasn’t the starry-eyed girl she had been when they first met. She had changed, and so had he. But there was a history between them, a spark that never fully faded, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it.

"Surreal. But seeing a friendly face makes it a bit more real," Nico said as he approached her, his smile soft but genuine.

"Oh, really?" (Y/N) teased, raising an eyebrow. "Just a friendly face? I’m wounded, Rosberg."

Nico chuckled, his eyes lighting up with amusement. "Okay, maybe a little more than just a friendly face." He paused, letting his gaze linger on her for a moment. "You look stunning, by the way."

(Y/N) smirked. "I always do."

There it was—the banter that had always come so naturally between them. Nico's grin widened, clearly enjoying the back-and-forth. "Fair enough. But you still surprised me. I didn’t think I’d see you here in Monaco of all places."

"Surprised myself, honestly," she admitted, taking a sip of her champagne. "But it’s Monaco, as you said. And it’s always fun to see old friends."

"Is that what we are now? Old friends?" Nico leaned in slightly, his tone low, playful even.

(Y/N) met his gaze head-on, her smile unwavering. "Well, considering you haven’t spoken to me in what… three years? Yeah, I'd say old friends is a good place to start."

Nico laughed, clearly not fazed by her confidence. "Touché. But to be fair, you’ve been busy conquering the world, and I’ve been—"

"Retired?" she finished, her eyes sparkling. "Yes, I noticed."

He raised a brow, clearly amused by her boldness. "I prefer 'champion-turned-entrepreneur,' thank you very much."

(Y/N) gave him a slow, approving nod. "That does indeed sound better."

Nico flashed a smile, clearly enjoying the subtle praise, but there was something more behind his eyes. “So, what about you? I remember you always had a million things going on. What’s kept you busy lately?”

(Y/N) leaned against the bar, turning her body slightly toward him. “Busy would be an understatement. Expanding the company, travelling... you know how it is.”

Nico tilted his head, curiosity piqued. “You always were ambitious. But what brought you to Monaco? I mean, it’s not just for the racing, right?”

She chuckled, swirling the champagne in her glass. “You’d be surprised. I’ve always had a soft spot for Monaco, and not just for the obvious reasons. It’s got charm, a pace I can appreciate now.”

“Now?” Nico raised a brow. “Has something changed?”

“More like I’ve changed,” (Y/N) replied, her gaze briefly meeting his, her expression softening. “Life moves fast. Sometimes you have to slow down and appreciate what’s right in front of you.”

Nico’s smile widened. “You sound like someone who’s finally found balance.”

“Maybe I have.” Her eyes flicked toward the stage where guests were mingling. “But enough about me. Tell me, does retired life suit you?”

Nico leaned in slightly, his voice lowering in a conspiratorial whisper. “Retired isn’t the word I’d use. More like… strategically exited.”

(Y/N) laughed, the sound drawing a few glances from the nearby tables. “Strategically exited? Wow, that sounds like something you’d put on a résumé.”

“Hey, if I’m going to leave on a high, might as well make it sound good, right?” Nico grinned, clearly amused by their back-and-forth. But then his tone softened, and he glanced at her with a more genuine expression. “But seriously… life after racing, it’s different. Calmer. But I can’t lie—I do miss it sometimes.”

(Y/N) nodded, understanding more than he knew. “It must be hard to step away from something that’s been your entire life for so long. But you seem to have transitioned well.”

“I’m doing my best.” Nico shrugged, his eyes never leaving hers. “And honestly, moments like this—seeing old friends again—they make it a little easier.”

There was a pause, the weight of his words settling between them. (Y/N) felt the familiar spark, the one that had been there years ago, flickering again.

“You know,” she said, breaking the silence with a smirk, “you’ve become quite the charmer since your ‘strategic exit.’ Was it part of your post-racing training?”

Nico laughed, shaking his head. “No, no training required. I just remember how to keep up with you.”

Before (Y/N) could respond, a voice interrupted the moment. "Nico!" A fellow guest had come up to greet him, and Nico gave them a polite smile before turning back to her.

“Duty calls,” he said, a hint of reluctance in his tone. “But don’t disappear on me, okay?”

(Y/N) gave him a playful smile. “I’ll try not to, but no promises.”

Nico’s grin widened as he stood, but before he walked away, he leaned in closer, his breath warm against her ear. “I’ll hold you to that.”

As he moved back into the crowd, (Y/N) watched him go, feeling the undeniable pull of their connection. It had been years, but something about tonight felt different—more electric, more certain.

The night continued, with flashes of conversation and laughter, but her mind kept drifting back to Nico. They hadn’t crossed paths in so long, but now that they had, the chemistry between them was undeniable.

Later, as the event began to wind down, (Y/N) stepped outside to get some fresh air. The cool night breeze was refreshing against her skin, a welcome reprieve from the warmth of the crowded gala hall.

She heard footsteps behind her and wasn’t surprised when Nico appeared at her side, his hands casually tucked into his pockets. “Escaping the madness too?”

“Just needed a moment,” she replied with a smile. “It’s been quite the night.”

Nico nodded, standing close enough that their shoulders almost touched. “It really has.”

They stood there for a few moments in comfortable silence, gazing out at the city lights twinkling over Monaco’s famous harbour. The night felt peaceful, but there was an undeniable tension between them—one that neither of them seemed eager to break.

Eventually, Nico spoke, his voice softer than before. “You know, I’ve been thinking about something.”

(Y/N) turned to look at him, curiosity in her eyes. “Oh? What’s that?”

He hesitated for a second as if weighing his words. “We’ve both changed. A lot. But standing here with you, it feels… easy. Like no time has passed.”

Her heart skipped a beat, and she felt the pull again—stronger this time. “It does,” she agreed, her voice just above a whisper.

Nico turned to face her fully, his blue eyes locking onto hers. “I don’t want to miss the chance to reconnect. To see where this goes.”

(Y/N)’s breath caught in her throat, the weight of his words sinking in. She had always been confident, in control, but right now, with him, she felt the stirrings of something more—something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

She smiled softly, her heart pounding in her chest. “I’d like that, Nico.”

The smile that spread across Nico’s face was genuine, full of warmth and something more—something hopeful. He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, his touch sending a shiver down her spine. “Sunday, after the race. Let me take you out. No galas, no crowds—just us.”

(Y/N) didn’t hesitate this time. “It’s a date.”

Nico’s eyes sparkled with satisfaction, and he took a step closer, his presence intoxicating, as he repeated his words from earlier, “I’ll hold you to that.”

As the night wrapped around them, the moment between them lingered—filled with the promise of something new, something that had been waiting to be reignited all along.

[charmedreincarnation]

How am I supposed to deal with anti-shifters and people literally calling shifting a mental illness? I know it’s real, and it's baffling how some people want me to confine myself to a reality that doesn’t serve me. It’s like they can't comprehend that our realities can be fluid and personal. And don't even get me started on the pretentious, usually well-off, white shifter content creators who make videos about how perma-shifters are selfish. It's as if they can't see past their privilege and understand the deeper connections and meanings behind shifting. I sometimes wish I could permanently delete this account from existence because it's just so frustrating to navigate through all this negativity and misunderstanding. I know now I’m in a world filled with possibilities, and yet some choose to limit themselves and impose those limits on others. I can be happy one day, truly happy one day and jt makes me angry that it makes some people mad I believe I can wake up in a new world with wealth and money and a family that doesn’t abuse me and visit my favorite movies. Im not hurting anyone

Not trying to be mean because I get it and went through this as well, but some of you are addicted to arguing and stirring things up. Some people become complicit in their own suffering because you don’t have to consume that type of content! you can avoid it if you train your algorithm hard enough.

If there’s one thing you can learn from religious people, it’s their “I’ll pray for you” mentality. If someone doesn’t believe in God, they just say they’ll pray for you so you don’t got to hell or whatever

When you encounter anti-shifters, just hope that one day they open their minds and discover there's more to the world than meets the eye. If they never choose to do so, it doesn’t affect your journey. One thing YOU SHOULD NOT take from religious people is making shifting your entire identity. Yes, it’s part of who you are, but it's not everything. When you don’t believe in God, some religious people become upset because religion is their identity, not just a belief system. Shifting and the loa are similar in that way—if you’re secure in your journey, would you really care if others believe or not?

You can block them and move on, but I know that’s easier said than done. It makes you angry because you’ve made it your identity instead of just an inherent way of life. Everyone shifts, even anti-shifters, so whether they believe in it or not doesn’t matter.

They’re like flat-earthers to me—I just roll my eyes and move on. It shouldn’t take a toll on your inherent being or mental health. If it does, take a step back. Stop diving into communities you know will make you angry. You don’t have to drag ShiftTok drama to Tumblr or rant about them. Avoid reblogging blogs that share misinformation and arguing with them. You don’t have to share YouTubers who think perma-shifters are delusional or self-harming.

Really sit down and think: if you genuinely believe in shifting and believe you can do it, would you go around trying to prove it to those with no interest in it? Are you trying to convince them or yourself? Don’t tie shifting or anything spiritual to your worth or identity. It’s just your inherent being. Everyone is God in their own right, whether they recognize it or not. It’s not your job to force enlightenment on others. Focus on yourself, use the block button, and defend yourself when attacked without meaning but if there’s no progress in the conversation, still use that block button. Stop entering spaces you don’t agree with.

LOA vs ND, be states vs A and P—some of you guys genuinely just want to live out your high school clique fantasies on Tumblr. Stop arguing and do your own thing. Engage in the free will you have and stop turning spirituality into pretentious Reddit philosophy echo chambers of people who have lost sight of the teachings. This isn’t politics no one focused on their journey and life cares okay; no one cares. It’s should be very fun, engaging and simple—just remembering who you are. I know humans love labels and categorizing because we’re so diverse and versatile and three-dimensional, and sometimes that’s a lot so we want to find our “place” but your own label and true essence and limitless. take a deep breath, close your laptop, and remember you already know who you are.

I totally get that shifting has been life-changing for us, especially when so many of us have come from really challenging backgrounds. It can be incredibly disheartening to see someone tearing apart something that gives you hope. That’s why I find it frustrating when people casually say, "The only thing you have to lose is trying." Hope is a huge factor when you feel like you’ve got nothing else, and the belief that something can save you is incredibly powerful. You work tirelessly, holding onto hope despite facing the same difficulties that dragged you into a tough mental state and life situation in the first place—that's disheartening, and I’m not trying to downplay that at all.

But when you truly realize it’s going to happen, and when it finally does, you won’t even care about the naysayers. I’ve been there, looking back and realigning my thoughts, thinking about all those times others doubted everything. They argued and criticized, but in the end, their opinions won’t matter. It’s about that personal journey and the shift within yourself, the kind of change that makes all the worth it, because when you get past all that useless noise, it’s just you and the incredible things that you did that matter. This is your life so make the most of it.

[nynyhaha]

Neon Nostrade and the naivety of evil

Neon is hated on by both Chrollos and Kurapikas stans.And I never really liked her as well,tho I don’t think she deserves the hate.As a character,she’s actually brilliant!

She sure is naive.But she’s not evil.She actually shows a wish to help people.I wonder if she’s aware what kind of people she’s helping with her ability,but I doubt it.

As someone who loves finding bones in the wild and making necklaces from them,who is interested in the way human remains look,I have to remind myself not to be like neon.

Because to her,the scarlet eyes are just a fun accessory.A part of the yorknew arc I overlooked when first watching HxH was the way her whole essence affects Kurapika distructively.

Kurapika is breaking his moral compass as he allies himself with such a brutal organisation as the Nostrade family.Yet his job is rather harmless:protecting the Bosses teenage daughter.

Someone who is naive,spoiled and throws tantrums,but not someone who’s a bad person.I believe that Kurapika really wanted to protect her and keep her safe.

But she’s the customer. She is on the demand end,Chrollo does the supply,and Kurapikas family is the product

I don’t know why the troupe murdered the Kurta clan.But I know they sold their eyes because there were people willing to buy them.If not for people like her,the Kurta eyes wouldn’t even be on the black market.People who harvest human eyes and sell them are worthy of Kurapikas wrath,but people who buy those eyes and create the demand should be too.

Remember how Kurapika and Melody had to obtain body parts so they would be hired?Well,how do we know those body parts were ethically sourced?

What gives Neon the confidence,that the eyes aren’t from someone who was killed for them? But she doesn’t ask that question.

I doubt she knows how they were gathered,but she doesn’t know because she doesn’t even THINK about it.

That is sociopathic behaviour,but just like it’s normalised to eat meat in our society without thinking much where it comes from(I am myself guilty of that but I don’t feel guilt)in the world Neon grew up in,the history behind the desired treasure is not relevant.

This is also so interesting because out of Kurapika,Chrollo and Neon,Neon is the most innocent.

Kurapika is going down a dark path of working with the Mafia such as Neons father and actually killing someone.Chrollo is the reason for that.And who is on the other end of Kurapikas loss and Chrollo’s crimes?

A cute little girl.She hasn’t ever killed anybody.She’s valued by her father just for her ability.She wants some independence so she goes out and talks to Chrollo.

The phantom troupe turns out to be more human than Kurapika could’ve ever imagined.That results in him questioning his worldview where only the most evil psychopaths could do what the troupe did,but the troupe doesn’t consist of psychopaths.

And what about Neon?Shes not only a human with feelings,but she doesn’t even have bad intentions.She is not even a bad person.

Tserri is.And we would all expect someone like him to be on the demand end of the pipeline.

But there’s another type of person happy to have kurta eyes,someone who is looking at them with genuine,childlike wonder.

The phantom troupe teaches us that people can do unspeakable things while still having the ability to care about their friends,still having family like bonds with others.It’s possible to be a ruthless criminal who is selfless enough to sacrifice oneself for a loved one.

But Neon is the opposite of that.You can be a cheerful,delusional rich girl who doesn’t what to hurt anybody ,and yet be part of something as horrible as the body part market.

If the phantom troupe are monsters with feelings,Neon isn’t a monster at all.That’s what makes her even more terrifying.

Rather than ending up as Kurapikas or Chrollos,it seems that we are most likely to end up as a Neon.Because we are not required to kill to be affiliated with evil

[villanious-gay-ghost]

I think I've figured out how to let go

(originally posted on Reddit by me, but I thought I'd share it here as well)

Doesn't apply to everyone!!! We all have different journeys and different things that work for us! These are just some thoughts, take them with a grain of salt. If it doesn't resonate with you, then it's not for you.

I've been thinking a lot about this recently because I felt like I'm trying to control too much of my DR to the point that it has become an obsession. For almost three years, I've been doing the same thing over and over again. I create myself a DR with the perfect life, perfect backstory, perfect S/O, perfect family, etc. It's all so perfect and planned out that it has no room for growth. When you have everything, that's just not fun.

Then when all the planning and scripting is done, I lose interest, and it's not getting me anywhere. No matter how perfect these DRs are, they feel distant, unrealistic, and unreachable. They're just too good to be true. I'm sure that such realities exist, but for me, it's not a realistic goal YET because I'm clearly struggling to get there. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I'm trying to come up with a solution for that.

So if my DR is already perfect, then what else is left to do? Nothing. It's not an authentic experience anymore. Perhaps the hardest part is admitting to myself that I don't want the perfect DR or an ideal version of myself because that's what I've been chasing the entire time. The easy way, where I have everything, but it's just not what I want.

I want the human experience where I can find true immersion, where I have no knowledge of the outcome. I want to live, to exist.

Shifting is life. You're not an actor trying to act out a script. It's not just some fantasy, we're talking about reality. But life isn't something that you can plan, is it? There's always something that we can't predict because that's just how it is.

So what is letting go?

Letting go is when you specify only the basics in order to create a grounded reality. You define who you are, where you want to go, create a general idea of your life, maybe who your parents and siblings are, but you let the rest naturally unfold. You don't stress about the little details, you don't make a 20 pages long script.

Put that script aside for a bit. You don't plan your younger brother's personality, you don't plan your neighbor's eyebrow color, you don't plan how many bathrooms your house has, the types of plants your high school biology teacher kept in her classroom, you don't plan your number of friends, or the brand of your first car. You don't plan. You absolutely can do all those things, and having a script doesn't necessarily mean that you're obsessed with control. But if you're like me and that's not working for you, then maybe try considering going back to basics. You don't need specifics to connect to your DR.

It's hard, I know, because we want to be in control and all that. But you're letting go by not trying to control every aspect of your DR. Trust yourself, trust the universe, trust shifting, trust whatever you believe in and let go of your limitations. Create a reality for yourself, a place where you genuinely want to live.

But if you only have the basics, then how do you shift? That doesn't seem enough, but, in theory, it should be. True, you don't have specifics, but you still have the key, the most important thing that you need in order to shift: yourself.

Just lay down, relax, focus on your breathing if that helps. Let go of the details, don't think about them because they're only holding you back. Focus on the idea, the concept of a better reality where you're safe, cared for, and happy. You don't need a method, you don't need to visualize. Just feel and trust that it's happening. Feel the peace and feel the shift pulling you in.

Hope this helps someone. Start open and go living!

[icedroppedinparasolcider]

Thoughts on ena? Feel free to yap as much as you did in three shizuku one!

so, fun fact about me! i was an ena oshi from like. On This Blank Canvas, I Paint ensekai release to about Say Goodbye to Masked Me jpsekai release, when kanade took the crown (it's since ended up in airi's hands, if not obvious). so i have an absolute ton of stuff i could say about ena and figuring out where to even begin is always the hardest part of all of this. i won't even give myself a direction here i'm just gonna stream of consciousness this.

shinonome ena was probably the first character i got genuinely attached to among the cast, and while most of my thoughts and attention have strayed to other characters, she still remains someone i get incredibly insane about (frankly the entire cast does this to me, but ena is one of the highlight characters of this). and a lot of it comes from my reading of On This Blank Canvas, I Paint when it released on ensekai, because that event not only changed ena for me, but how i view the entire game and its story. that event changed my brain chemistry and nothing deserves the claim more than it.

prior to that event, i looked at ena like i do most "mean" characters, with a sort of dismissive attitude due to generally not being a fan of the archetype and the way many pieces of media write them (other fandoms i was part of before prsk largely ruined it for me). but that event, and ena herself completely changed my entire perspective on the character archetype as a whole, and while i still wouldn't say it's my favourite, i am far from dismissive of the character type and many of my favourites from other medias exist within it because i'm actually paying attention to why they're like this. On This Blank Canvas, I Paint was my first exposure to the why, and i've never been able to look away since.

while there's arguments to be made of this factor for every person in it, i personally stand at the opinion that ena is the representation of everything the solid heart class stands for. akito is really close, and he's in contention, but i'll get more into akito later on because there's so much i need to say about their relationship, their parallels, the roles they have in each other's lives and the reflection of these roles onto the people around them. but with solid heart in general, i think that ena exists as an epitome of everything they are, and the fact everyone except ena in-world is able to recognise that only further pushes my point. because unlike akito, ena believes herself a coward on top of being inadequate. she doesn't recognise the strength it requires to keep pushing forward through all this pain, she thinks herself weak for even experiencing it at all. while akito believes himself (at least up to BURN MY SOUL) inferior to his peers, there's not really a moment where he looks at himself as weak for struggling. he simply pushes forward, and Find a Way Out and BURN MY SOUL is the recognition that that is what gives him his power. ena doesn't even consider that possibility until Knowing the Unseen, when she learns about what her father went through.

solid heart is defined by its determination and unflinching will to improve and chase their dreams no matter who or what gets in their way. shiho continuing to practice and search for a band after convincing herself she's better off solo; airi's constant drive to be a better idol and reach the heights she set for herself; akito's refusal to back down from the unbreakable wall of rad weekend despite the entire town telling him he can't do it; nene's constant push through her story to be an actress worthy of the dreams she has. ena is just part of this, chasing the dream that is her art and the desire to garner a following from it, make a career out of it like her father has. she doesn't attach her name to the works of 25ji because she doesn't want its popularity to be the reason her artwork succeeds, she wants the effort and beauty she captures on the canvas to speak for itself. everyone in solid heart carries that wish, for their work to speak for itself, to not take shortcuts on the path to their dreams. most of them aren't offered many opportunities for it to happen, it's really just shiho and ena who have that chance; shiho with the entire event of Resonate with You and ena's combination of being the daughter of a famous artist and the illustrator for a growing musical group. but both of them turn down those short-cuts in the end, because it wouldn't be their dream as they wish it. shiho wouldn't be standing by the sides of those they made that promise with, and ena wouldn't feel like the success is actually hers at all, but rather the success of whatever name she's leaning on.

you can actually see this part of ena in a scene unrelated to her artwork, in Someday, This Wish will Transcend the Morning Sky. when mafuyu gets a call from her mother and ena decides to take over the conversation, there's a moment in it where ena thinks how she'd rather not bring him into the equation right before mentioning her father's name. she doesn't want to be associated with him, for any reason; both because of her problems with shin'ei as a person and her reservations with using the benefits she has through nepotism. she's fully aware she has that advantage, and does whatever she can to separate herself from her father to avoid having it. because it wouldn't feel like it's actually her success. it would feel like her father's success rubbing off on her.

yet, to bring this back to solid heart, despite the struggle she's facing to make a name for herself as an artist and the immense pain she faces trying to improve herself as an artist and a person, she doesn't quit. she nearly has, plenty of times; it's mentioned several times in early stories how often akito would have to step in to stop ena from throwing away and/or breaking all her art supplies and tools during her fits of anger, because he understands how important this venture is to her. he's solid heart too, his equivalent is the music he makes and performs in vivid street. he knows, firsthand, how precious the passion she has for art is, because he's been given that same drive and purpose for a different artform. ena didn't let him give up when he quit soccer, so he won't let her give up. however he can manage to do that.

there's a specifc moment in the stories of solid heart where you can see the moment they decided that giving up and backing away simply isn't an option anymore. shiho is a slight exception to this rule; there was never a moment in their story where they felt they should give up on their dream to become a professional bassist in a band, not once did they ever stop chasing that dream, for even a moment. shiho's shifts were always about how they chase that dream, with Resonate with You being the decision to not leave leo/need's side, and Don't lose faith! being the change of heart to stop holding back for the sake of the band, to let them catch up by knowing what to chase. but for airi, this happened in the more more jump main story; the recognition of minori's potential as an idol because of her refusal to simply give up, mixed with the mistake of her lashing out at shizuku when she shares the news that she'll be quitting her idol work, kicks airi back to a point of realisation of just how important to her being an idol is, and that she can't afford to just leave it behind. for akito, this happens during rad weekend; after having abandoned sports due to believing he's not dedicated enough, and ena introducing him to the world of music at the summer festival, his entire body and purpose is lit up by the emotional weight of rad weekend, giving him something to strive for and a reason to endure the constant loss that will come with chasing that dream. for nene, pieces of this occur in the wxs main story, but she's truly pushed into the unrelenting determination of solid heart with On a Holy Night, with This Singing Voice and the recognition of her potential from sakurako managing to grab at her competitive spirit and give her something to fight for; something brought to an extreme with The Canary Sings in a Quagmire as nene pushes herself harder than ever before to break down a barrier in her skill.

for ena, this moment was On This Blank Canvas, I Paint. while she never completely gave up on art before this moment, and Insatiable Pale Colour shows how much she wants to fight for her art and gives us a taste of her willingness to keep going, it pales in comparison to the scene captured in the On This Blank Canvas, I Paint untrained ena card. that moment is the decision that completely pivots the direction of ena's entire story into what she's become in modern project sekai. the decision to not look away—to stop looking away. ena is facing her art in a way she was never willing to before, a way she depicted herself in the art piece being critiqued avoiding. the ena of the past would've run away after hearing the harsh words yukihira had to say. we see, in the event, what happened the last time yukihira was harsh about ena's work: she completely broke down and it was the final straw to the shattering of her fragile self-esteem. but during the return to her art classes, which itself is a monumental step due to the pain attached to them, ena made the decision to stop running away. to take whatever yukihira had to say about her art and make it matter, make it have an impact on her growth as an artist. so she sits there, all the memories of the suffering she's gone through fresh on her mind and burning into her, and takes in the criticism. she doesn't fight back like she always had with 25ji, she doesn't look away like she did the last time. these are her failures, and she needs to take responsibility for them. because that's the only way to fix them.

On This Blank Canvas, I Paint also gives us a lot of insight into ena's relationship with shin'ei. not necessarily as much as Insatiable Pale Colour does, since that's a proper introduction to and exploration of their dynamic as both father and daughter and from artist to artist, but On This Blank Canvas, I Paint gives us the invaluable context around the moment that broke their relationship. how much ena had been going through already, how excited she was to continue chasing art, the way shin'ei completely shot her down from the high of being praised by yukihira—something we learn in that event is exceptionally rare—and the actions the next day of yukihira unintentionally confirming for ena everything shin'ei said. that, as she was then, she would never survive or succeed as an artist.

something i don't see really any recognition or mention of is just how much of a part yukihira had to play in ena's collapsed mental health. he was the one to convince her that she could make it by giving her praise, something that ena has always been attached and attracted to because of the lifelong emotional neglect of shin'ei. her receiving that praise from someone she looked up to as a professional and understood that the praise itself is a rarity from him resulted in a complete overblowing of ena's ego, the instant belief that she has what it takes and would be able to make it into and survive art schools with ease. that bubble is popped by shin'ei's words, the outright disapproval of her dream and doubt in her ability to chase that dream (at least, that's how ena takes it; we learn later on that isn't what shin'ei intended to happen). then, the following day, during a very fragile moment where she's reliant on the approval of a professional, yukihira continues to tear ena down with the statement that she'd never make it as an artist if all she looks for is praise. an echoed, if more specific, sentiment to shin'ei's own words. it breaks her. ena would probably be in a much better mental state, though still fragile, were it just shin'ei that knocked her down. but yukihira kicked her while she was down. and that proved to be too much.

i understand why yukihira gets less attention from the fandom, since ena's own story has a stronger focus on what shin'ei did to her than what yukihira did, and what shin'ei did is ultimately the one ena's mind has attached to as evident by the constant flashes to his words in her earlier stories and the entire nightmare sequence of And Now, This Ribbon is Tied, which i can hardly blame her for finding shin'ei's actions more damaging. despite the evidently bad parenting shin'ei has done for either shinonome, even before The SceneTM (akito had it is in his mind that success is impossible without talent even before finding music, and there's a lot of little details across side-stories that imply shin'ei has never been the most attentive father: my favourite of which being ena pushing him into a lake during a camping trip because he wasn't paying enough attention to her. the shinonomes appear to be really bad at communicating and even processing their own feelings, even before the moment ena and shin'ei's relationship fully collapsed, and i think a lot of it comes down to shin'ei being a neglectful and borderline absent father for both of them), ena clearly trusted and believed in shin'ei opinions as both her father and a professional artist by the way she used to study his work to improve her own, the way she went to him for advice on what art school to pick. shin'ei's action was ultimately a betrayal of all of that trust, and i personally believe their relationship is impossible to mend after that, at least to a degree that the shinonome household will be a safe space for either child again (unfortunately, i'm speaking from experience).

i had more to say and if it comes back to me i might reblog with even more yapping but i've completely lost my train of thought due to being distracted and cannot bring it back for the life of me. so i'm just posting this now. have fun ena fans

[agentoffangirling]

Ranking AoS ships (canon & non-canon) bc I can:

FitzSimmons. If you don't have this as your top, I DON'T TRUST YOU. They are the blueprint, the very epitome of romance. If someone doesn't dive through a space rock to reach me on another planet, I don't want them

Dousy. Ik some people much prefer Sousa and Peggy, and they have a great relationship, but I don't know, I just like Dousy more. Maybe bc I want Daisy to be in a healthy relationship for once? But for only appearing in around half the episodes of s7, they don't feel rushed, and Chloe and Enver have great chemistry. They're so sweet together, I can't say much else other than I love them

Skimmons. Okay okay ik what a lot of people are gonna say, but I just think they're wonderful together. I've drifted a bit from shipping this, I do see the sisters aspect of them (I don't see them as sisters and romantically at the same time, that is WEIRD), but I still have a small soft spot for it. I think it's mostly Chloe and Elizabeth's love for the ship that sells it

Philinda. Tbh this and Skimmons could be switched, they're very close in my brain. While I don't necessarily feel too bad about them splitting up in s7, I like both the platonic and romantic versions of them, I think they were really great. They so obviously love each other, and what more can I say to that?

Huntingbird. 100% compatible 50% of the time, as Hunter puts it. I don't believe this to be the healthiest of AoS relationships, but not everything has to be perfect all the time. One moment they could be making jabs at one another, the next they're making out. Who knows? Their moments are a fun time either way

MackElena. I think what this ship needs is more time. Compared to the other relationships, MackElena doesn't get to share the screen all that much. I do love how they learn from one another, and they've always given me a kind of comforting type of vibe. They're just cute together

Simmorse. This feels like a relatively newer ship in the fandom, and I am all for it. I don't ship it massively, but I 100% see the potential, I think it's very easy to see that Jemma was crushing on Bobbi a couple times

QuakeRider. Just like Simmorse, I do see it, but I've never really been a big fan of it. Not that there's anything wrong with it, it has great vibes, I love the rogue x rogue type ship, I just don't ship it that much. I personally see them closer to older brother, younger sister type of dynamic. But I do see the potential

Staticquake. HEAR ME OUT OKAY? I used to like Staticquake a lot, but on my rewatches I see myself getting farther and farther away from it. It's not that they don't have good chemistry or that I don't think they're really in love, oh no, they have all of it, it's just not the best relationship for Daisy. There are more than a few moments where they're arguing, majority of the time Lincoln being in the wrong, and later Daisy apologizing for it? It always struck me as odd. I also feel like resolved too many issues behind the scenes, relying on exposition to make the audience believe they had gone further in their relationship

DekeDaisy. Idk if they have an actual ship name, so I'm going with this one for now. It's just wayyy too one-sided and doesn't seem like it would work anyway. Daisy was not in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and she seemed relatively blind to Deke's advances. Also considering that Deke sold her to the Kree earlier... yeah, it was never gonna work

Skyeward. It might get up one spot for the Framework version of them, but as it stands, the real life version of them is AWFUL. Ward lied to Skye on almost everything, hurt her, hurt her loved ones, kidnapped her, became obsessed with her, and countless other things I can't remember rn. They're so toxic and if you ship them (not Framework or pre-betrayal), I have genuine concern in your love life

[mihai-florescu]

Back in the us highschool i had a teacher i genuinely saw as a best friend and found a loophole to hang out (you could become a student class assistant and i did that...for his free period so we'd just watch tv shows and movies and talk) during all my free time at school including lunch breaks id come to his room to hang out, even during days when underclassmen didnt need to come id still do... there genuinely wasnt much to do in the midwest countryside when you cant drive. But i was always scared id get him in trouble, i know other students thought it weird for me to be alone with him so much. Nothing happened of course, we were just set on finishing watching firefly, but yknow. It's an understandable concern had we been different people. So because of my own background i have a hard time with student-teacher relationships in fiction in general and get happy seeing non reciprocated romantic feelings or just generally healthy platonic relationships in such situations. The power imbalance is fascinating to play with as well if done mindfully and with the purpose of telling a story, the only thing i cant get behind is a forbidden romance just for the sake of it, shipping just because it's taboo, edgy and different. This applies to other types of dynamics that would fit under such a description too, you know me. But im a dont like dont read guy, i just dont wish to see such edginess on purrpose. Ah but i do sometimes watch summaries of bad dark romance books that just piss me off with their poor writing, so perhaps im a hypocrite~ well, i do that to make fun of them with myself. I believe in not directly attacking people over what or how they engage with media, but being a major opinionated hater in the heart regardless

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

on beauty

I remember the first dress I picked out for him, where it was in the store, and how it felt to try on. It was white silk, fitted, and looked as though someone had painted over it in watercolor splashes of violet and blending emerald green. It hugged my body in a way I hoped he'd take inspiration from.

I'd always seen my beauty as a tool rather than a gift. It never felt like it belonged to me. I knew how to enhance it. I knew how to mute it. I knew how to make it attractive. I knew how to make it aloof. But for the first time, with him, I wanted to play with it.

I didn't mind that maybe he'd enjoy me at his side looking like I did. I hoped that I could surprise him with it. I experimented with different types of make up and doing my hair and these thigh high stockings I bought just because I could imagine how he'd take them off. Or maybe he wouldn't. Sometimes he didn't.

We'd hadn't met in person yet but I had all these crazy plans. I was in my twenties, but in so many ways, I was still just a teenager. He made me feel like a teenager. All the fun parts. The adventure of it. He made real plans, and that made me feel so special. The plans weren't for him, though I'm sure he made sure he'd enjoy them. He made them for me. He wanted me to enjoy things.

And I enjoyed everything with him. For the first time in my life, I enjoyed my beauty. I enjoyed him enjoying my beauty.

I still remember the two of us walking through this larger than life exhibit of a heart at a museum. It was so interesting, getting to experience the different chambers and the soundtrack that surrounded us. I was fascinated. When I was around him I was fascinated by everything. I felt so open and curious and I wanted to explore everything.

Now I realize that it was because I felt so safe. I could let myself open fully in his presence and know that I would be protected. That my curiosity was something he genuinely encouraged. He liked my intelligence. I asked him questions and he enjoyed answering them. I made up foolish little theories and he'd add onto them. He was the easiest person I ever spent time with. We laughed so much. No matter what happened it was never a bad time, even if I embarrassed myself. I hadn't known much forgiveness in my life, but when I fucked up and apologized, he really chose to forgive me. I tested him a lot of times. He had this nobility about the way he did things. He had this integrity that I admired and tried to absorb into my own personality.

I loved the way he looked at me. I loved making him smile. He never gave me a reason to doubt him, but my past experiences made it so difficult for me to believe this man felt the same about me. I couldn't fathom it. My insecurity was deep inside my heart, and it often strangled the love we built in the distance between us. I didn't know how to communicate or even know why it was impossible for me to keep faith in our bond or connection. Youth. Physical loneliness. The dysfunction of my family at home projected onto him. My own belief in my unworthiness. I threw tantrums and manipulated him. I'd poke at him until he'd explode and think that was how to make him prove his affection. I was not brought up to love authentically. I was not brought up to be authentic.

But with him, I did get a chance to feel what it was like when I was authentic. I liked myself with him. I liked how clever I was when I returned his banter. I liked how our wits were always fencing, looking for a playful way to score a point. I liked when I won. I liked when he defeated me. I liked everything about the way we explored each other's minds and bodies. I liked how we could just spend our time napping and watching things and it never felt like a waste of time. I liked him so much. He was always trying to show me something new.

I think in some ways I never walked out of that heart exhibit. Maybe our shadows stayed in there, hand in hand, waiting until our bodies figured out who the fuck we were before seeking us out again and pushing us back toward something we knew but was also simultaneously something completely new.